- e - s -

I want to go home.
I hate this feeling.
I want to be with my family.
To feel safe.
I want to be with my friends.
To not feel lonely.
I just want to be surrounded by people whom I love so much.

I can't help feeling like this.
I can't stand it.

But there's nothing I can do.
I have to get this feeling away.

Why must you be like this.
I cared for you so much.
I knew you cared for me too.
I still do though.
But yet in the end.
You hurt me.

In the beginning.
I've already told you.
Yet it has come to this.

I asked for a chance in future.
But you didn't want to wait.
I was serious.
I wanted it.
But I guess.
You thought I was just running away.

If you really cared.
You still would be my friend.
But I guess this now shows.
You were not one from the start.

Despite all that.
I would like to thank you.
For always being there for me.
For filling up that hole in my heart.
For always cheering me up.

At the end of the day.
I always look forward to talking to you.
Cause you make my troubles go away.
I sleep smiling feeling happy.
You made that happen.

I'd like to thank you for that.

Now.
I just have to face it.
That I can't feel that way again.
It has been replaced.
I sleep with a wet pillow.
Eyes puffy.
With sad thoughts.

I still want to talk to you.
I really do.

I miss you.

melody - stay with me

Ish

I don't want to like you.

It'll be just another big disappointment.

Stop disturbing me!!!!

Argh!!

-.-

Boa - Meri Kuri

The day I met you, I knew you were the one,
It was on that day so much happiness came to me,
We acted the same as the couples around
And we locked our arms and walked down the path ahead

Together we are under the same blue heavens
Having the same heart and oh the same feelings
It shows that as we are together out hearts are as one

Always, Forever I need you
And the love that I want to have is the love that we share
Lost are the painful and sorrowful wounds
Just because you are near to me, and just that sets me free

Lonely despair and the hardships ahead
The cold winter wind had become the warm, warm spring
The very first snow left me feeling alone
But I didn't cry, I just kept on smiling true

The love that I feared more than anything near me
The CD that keeps playing on and on for me
Was simply a letter of love from your heart to my own

Always, forever this love has escaped from me
And I thought of this day and night, of the love I once knew
Always, Forever I wanted to say
"You were always the one for me, and for that I thank you"

The road where the white and pure snow keeps on falling
That's where you made your sweet promises to me
You told me our love should be whiter than snow and that would help get us through

Always, I knew that I was missing something
But your love is still filling up the - empty, cold spots
Snowflakes the gift that the heavens are dropping
And it's you, you're the one for me, and you are all that I need
The soft, white snows falling now
I wish on our pure kiss

**************************************************

Super emo song. *sniff* *sniff* Lee Tung. Why! Why must you let me listen to this!!!!! Babiness.

Don't think I can sleep tonight then. Waaaaaaaaaah~

Mood~Gone~

no mood for anything right now. every single thing is pissing me off. highlight of the week. visited grandpa. and will visit every single day. it's nice to see him getting better. but. just found out yesterday. he has cancer. 3rd stage. can't cure. yea. he might just go anytime. skipped work today to visit him. the whole time. talked with him and laughed with him. when he wasn't looking. i tear. when i just walked in. i could see tears in his eyes. i feel so guilty for not going to see him.
he told us some jokes. freaking funny. then he said he has so many hospital stories to tell us. and he said when he gets out. he'll tell us all about it. he even said that when he leaves the hospital. he's gonna write a book on hospitals. i wish that will happen. it will. bah.

the pastor said that grandpa is actually ready to go to God. his name is already in the Book. he knows it his time to go. it's just that his children are not ready to let him go.

i just want him to stay on till after christmas. to celebrate christmas as a christian for the first time.

fucking no mood.

EmoMoMo

been long since I've been here. saw my chatbox. Didn't know I totally left my blog aside. But. Been busy? I guess. There's so much I want to say. But I can't put it into words. Freaking difficult.

1st. I haven't apply yet. lazy.

2nd. It's like a confirm thing I can't cry. No matter how hard I want to. It just doesn't come.

3rd. I just realized something that I should have......realized a long time ago. Ok..maybe not that long.

4th. I feel like shitz now.

5th. emotionally drained.

6th. Full of drama.

7th. Why is everyone freaking calling me panda?!?!?!?!!? Lolx.

8th. I'm kinda grounded now.

9th. Feeling a little confused. I'm not sure what I want to do about it.

10th. Feel like killing myself now! Hehe.

Aish. Emoz. No good. No good.

*MingMing...Is it true that Cameron Diaz reminds you of me?! Hehe. Liz said the same thing too! ^.^v
I know I ish cute..but psycho! Whahahaha. Sorry. I ish very boredz now.

Sob?

Cry. That's what I feel like doing. But all I get is nothing. Not a single drop.

I think so?

Choon Leong says:
btw
u are tai kah jie
u can do anything
anything u also can do it la
dun worry

If you don't get it. See my msn pm. Hehe. It just says...."I don't think I can do it"
Understand now? Hehe. Love you Choonie! And stop drinking so much!!!! *look who's talking* Aish.

Don't worry. Be Happy.

Whahahahaha!

emoz

EmoNess

Afraid to go to bed. Don't want to think about it. Went through the whole day without feeling anything. Thought I've let go. But. Now. I'm afraid to go to bed. Afraid I'll think about it. And I'll start it all over again. I'm falling sick because of this. Not enough sleep. Coughing badly. Need sleep. Need sleeping pills. Haha.

Don't wanna be in Love

We break up
It’s something that we do now
Everyone has got to do it sometime
It’s okay, let it go
Get out there and find someone

It’s too late to be trippin' on the phone here
Get off the wire
You know everything is good here
Stop what you’re doin'
You don’t wanna ruin
The chance that you got to
find a new one


Everybody put up your hands
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
feel the beat now
If you got nothing left
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Back it up now
You got a reason to live
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feelin' good now
Don’t be afraid to get down
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love


So love this song. *sigh*

Hungry!!!!!!

Just realized I haven't blog for days..Sorry! Well, what's going on with my life right now.
It'll be a super long post. Long EMO post. I don't think you all want to know right.

Just can't stand everything right now. It's pissing me off real badly.

Why is it that when you have no barriers or nothing to hold back. You get fucking hurt right after that.

Haha. I thought I can handle it. I mean, I've been hurt countless of times. I should be like immune to it. Haha. I guess I can like you know..throw my heart out the window. It's been stamped on oh-so-many times. It's totally useless de.

j u l i a s. says:
so if you think he's worth it...fight..if not just let go and fight for someone else more worth it

*sigh*

Aish. Just give me few days, or weeks. The most. A month. Then, I'm back to myself. No more emo-mo-mo. K? Haha. See how la.

How much more can I take.

Emo-mo-mo

Didn't know that it's actually this hard. Bah.