- e - s -

I want to go home.
I hate this feeling.
I want to be with my family.
To feel safe.
I want to be with my friends.
To not feel lonely.
I just want to be surrounded by people whom I love so much.

I can't help feeling like this.
I can't stand it.

But there's nothing I can do.
I have to get this feeling away.

Why must you be like this.
I cared for you so much.
I knew you cared for me too.
I still do though.
But yet in the end.
You hurt me.

In the beginning.
I've already told you.
Yet it has come to this.

I asked for a chance in future.
But you didn't want to wait.
I was serious.
I wanted it.
But I guess.
You thought I was just running away.

If you really cared.
You still would be my friend.
But I guess this now shows.
You were not one from the start.

Despite all that.
I would like to thank you.
For always being there for me.
For filling up that hole in my heart.
For always cheering me up.

At the end of the day.
I always look forward to talking to you.
Cause you make my troubles go away.
I sleep smiling feeling happy.
You made that happen.

I'd like to thank you for that.

Now.
I just have to face it.
That I can't feel that way again.
It has been replaced.
I sleep with a wet pillow.
Eyes puffy.
With sad thoughts.

I still want to talk to you.
I really do.

I miss you.

melody - stay with me

Closed

I hope it ain't true. But wait. Why the heck am I bothered if it's true or not. Whatever. Shall not think about it. Omg. See. Argh. Ish. Forget it. Bah.

Yes. Must. Close. Up. Heart. Again.

>.<

Mix cement. Place bricks. Put cement. More bricks. More cement. Place gate in between. More bricks. More cement. Put lock on gate. Yes. Complete! Lock gate. Take key. Throw far far away. Nice!

Awesome.

Assignments. Suck. So. Badly. Uh-huh.

Sushi!!!

Fucking Rants

Currently listening to my blog's songs. So emoz. *sobz* Hmmm..feeling sorta empty now. Ya. Stupid songs. So emo. But I still like it. Sob! Hehe.
My life. Weird. Mmhmm. Yup. Funny too.
What's the point of this blog again? I totally lost the meaning of why I have this blog for. I really don't know de.
The song is so getting to me. But still like it. Blah. Emoz sial.
MingMing! I'll be blogging everyday ok. If I don't. Er. You spank me ok? ONe day no blog. Spank one time. OK? Hehe. I think I shall not blog then. Lolx.

Need to concentrate now. No one disturb me ok. I don't want to go out. But of cuz. I can't stay at home. But I have to. If I don't stay at home. I'll....spank myself?
Listen to the number 10 song. Love that song! It's like so jumpy and nice. Haha. Not so emo de. But still. Miss you? Hmm. I love the hands song too. So damn cute. And it reminds me of that person. *bleh*

When I wake up tomorrow later, er..what did I wanted to say. You know what. Fuck it. From here onwards is going to be a quite emo post. You've been warned. Happy reading~!













Seriously don't want to give a fuck!

Something I've been listening to. I'm sorry.




I don't like to say sorry too many times. The more I say it. The more it means shits. But I really mean it. I really am. I guess. Let go. Bah. Hehe. What the fuck am I talking about. I guess. To that certain someone now. As to how I'm feeling right now. EHEhehaheahehaehaheaeh. Don't know what to do. Actually. I do. But. Sigh. Aish. I've always fall and rise. So. It's ok? Or no. Fuck it!

I hope this says it all. As to why I was treating you that way too. So ya. That's why. Bah.
I really really am sorry. Just kill me. I'm bad with words. With expressing feelings? Lolx. Blah.

"Love is a strong word"

And to someone else. Didn't mean to put that. Just feeling bitter. Don't know if you read my blog. But ya. It's just that. You said all that to me. But in the end. Ya. It's not your fault it all comes to this. But. After what you said. I was just. Feeling bitter and piss'd. I feel stupid and childish now. So ya. Bah.

My mum scolded me just now. My whole family has visited my grandfather. He's in the hospital now. He's been there for I think a week plus. I think 2 already. Ya. And I haven't been to visit. SHe said like I didn't have the time. like I'm so freaking "BUSY" that I can't see my grandpa. I just can't fucking bring myself to see him. I don't want to see him all weak and thin lying on the hospital bed. Kimmy visited. And I told her what I thought. And she said I was right. He looks so weak. I can't bear it. I can't see him. I'll just cry. Just thinking about it now. Fucking crying. How the fuck can I go and see him when I'll just burst out crying when I get a glimpse of him. mch. Even when kimmy was telling me about it. I was crying. Just thinking of me. Visiting him. I'll FUCKING CRY! How can I bring myself to see him and start crying. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!
Ladida~! *chill*

Fucking hospital. Don't know what the fuck they are doing. For Fucking 2 weeks. They don't what the fuck is wrong. mch. How many fucking tests you want to do. Grandpa is so sick of your freaking dumb ass tests. And you still have no fucking idea what's wrong. Damnit. Mahkechauhai.

Problems. Problems. Problems. Carefree. Think twice.

I always said. I can't cry. Well. Bah. Huh.

Feeling : Stupid, super down, emo *as expected*, hungry, sleepy and tired.

Perth..

It was just about 5 hours ago..and I miss him de. *Sigh
How..How?
Aish..I just wanna get out of perth now. Shouldn't have stayed longer.

Whaha! Daddy bought the car de! Yay! I don't have to drive the wira nemore. But I mean, i still have to drive the wira..till my dad gets back his car. so ya. So, the only thing I'm looking forward to going back..is that. HEhehe

Why!!!! Why did I listen to my mum about like staying in Perth for another day to look around. why!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! I'm so damn bored now. I guess I shall go to bed now then.